that's my feeling

I felt not confidence because I'm fat..I'm stupid..
and l'm not confidence to talk with people cause I'm inferiority... Lastly..
I don't want to go out with people who i am not really know..
Because we didn't have any chat topics.. It will only make me feel more lonely..

I agreed that people in the world are none stop complaining..
I am one of them too..
I am always complaint about not enough money to use..
suspicion myself as a fatter..
why am I soooo stupid!?
why I didn't have a happy family..?
why am I soooo selfish??

this type of question are always in my mind when I talk to somebody or did something..
It's make me crasy..
sometime i happy till laugh..
sometime i sad till wanna cry..
i can't control myself..

People could only see the happy side..
I'm really very sad.. Because I not even have a very close friend to tell a secret..
would anyone understand my feeling..??


Who knows, when I was normal, the real fun and not hypocritical smile...??